If you follow my good friend Kimmie over at That Girl in the Wheelchair (and honestly if you don't, get on it!. I love her blog almost as much as I love her actual presence.) you saw her recent post on her childhood crushes vs. her adult crushes. It all started with a hashtag on instagram that did not go as viral as we had hoped! We talked a LOT of about crushes and I promised to make this post. It only took me about 20 days! Ha! Silly because my list was very easy. I am a woman of many crushes and my list came to me very quickly. This might be the most self indulgent post on a pretty self indulgent blog, so I hope you enjoy it!
First lets take a look at the dudes (and others) that made my heart beat faster from elementary to middle school:
2. Brian Littrell // I was SO into the Backstreet Boys. My room was completely covered in posters and when my dad took me to the Millennium tour when I was in 8th grade I cried and screamed so hard I lost my voice for two days. Brian was my favorite I think because he was "the funny one." And I still maintain he has the voice of an angel. I might have locked myself in the bathroom once because my mom said he had a big nose. Teenage hormones are a trip.
3. Seymour Krelborn // My family loved Little Shop of Horrors and my grandparents took me to see many productions around Middle Tennessee. Seymour is probably my original nerd crush, and I always loved whoever played him. He is the perfect weird underdog who gets swept up in a murderous killing spree, egged on by a plant from outer space, while maintaining his love for sweet by trashy Audrey. Their duet, "Suddenly Seymour" is one of my favorite things of ALL TIME, and I have the title tattooed on me.
4. Raphael // I used to wish on green skittles that the "cool but rude" Raphael would come to life and be my boyfriend. Is that weird?
5. The Beast // I can't be the only one who was disappointed when he turned into a man.
6. Hawkeye // In middle school along with the Backstreet Boys, I was weirdly OBSESSED with M*A*S*H. How many 7th graders do you know with the sheet music to "Suicide is Painless" framed on their wall? Hawkeye was my favorite, he was so funny and weird and such a lady's man. BJ Honeycut gets an honorable mention, he was pretty babely as well.
7. Burt from Mary Poppins // This was my brother's favorite movie and I always thought Burt was so cute and cool! We also watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang a lot, and I loved his vest outfit for "The Ole Bamboo" routine.
8. Lenny from That Thing You Do! // I watched this movie SO MUCH and it made me love Steve Zahn forever. Following my pattern, I liked him because he was the funniest. That movie is still a favorite, and Lenny can still get it.
9. Ace Ventura // He was funny and had tons of pets, what is not to love?
10. Jack Skellington // Believe me, I kept my animated crushes at 3, but I could have put more. Jack was just so cool and sensitive! My mom actually hid my copy of the Nightmare Before Christmas because I wanted to watch it every day.
11. Han Solo // What woman doesn't love Han Solo? He is handsome, heroic, and kind of a jerk. And that vest! He is still a favorite now.
12. Johnathan Taylor Thomas // If you are my age you probably had a crush on JTT. From his turn as Randy on Home Improvement, to my personal favorite, the jerky kid in Man of the House with Chevy Chase, he was a preteen dreamboat for sure. Looking back over my list, he might be the only age appropriate crush I had.
And now, my current crushes as a 30 year old woman. As a lifelong pop culture obsessor I never outgrew my crush phase. Don't worry, Travis is amused by it and sometimes indulges me. Once he gave me a tiny framed photo of Milo Ventimiglia as a gift. Milo didn't make the list because I pretty much lost interest in him after Gilmore Girls, but here are the dreamy dudes that did:
Bret, You've Got It Going On" is one of my favorite moments. I love that he is in movies regularly now, and I can't wait for the Conchords to tour the US again! Remember when I met him and looked crazy in my photo back in 2009? I hope that can happen again, but I can look less deranged, ha!
2. Sutan Amrull // Also known as Raja on Rupaul's Drag Race. I love his personality and interesting style and his new gray hair. I'm always down for a creative drag queen who looks cute as a boy.
3. Fred Armisen // I'm a sucker for a funny dude with glasses. I love it when he plays himself on Portlandia, especially when he is rude. I guess he has taken over where Raphael left off.
4. Joseph Gordon Levitt // Looks great in a suit, and super charming.
5. Pearl // Another Drag Race dude. If you watched season 7, you fell in love with boy Pearl. So adorable, so sweet. We met Pearl at Play and she complimented me on my cute husband, hah!
6. Chris Pratt // I love him as chubby Andy Dwyer, I love him as Star Lord. I love him training dinos. I just love him.
7. Zachary Quinto // Zachary should really be #2 but I didn't want too many ties in a row. I fell for ZQ when I saw him as Spock, and have kept an eye out for him every since. I especially like him in interviews, and I've watched this one (filmed in a dog park) probably 20 times! He has rescue dogs and a big vocabulary and those handsome caterpillar eyebrows. I can't wait for Star Trek: Beyond this summer, even if he seems to be wearing a terrible wig in it. Remember that time I got Travis to dress as Spock? Hubba, hubba!
8. Taika Waititi // Taika came to my attention because he cowrote/directed What We Do In the Shadows this year with Jemaine. He is a cutie in his own right, and I especially love him as Viago in that movie. I love watching/listening to interviews with him and Jemaine because they seem to genuinely enjoy each other's company and work well together. There is also that irresistible Kiwi accent.
9. Andre 3000 // Andre Benjamin has been on my list since high school. He is just so hot and creative and kind of a weirdo. All things I like in a crush.
10. Jason Schwartzman // I don't know much about Mr. Schwartzman, but I love it whenever he shows up in a movie. I think I fell for him mostly from him roles in Wes Anderson movies.
11. Tom Hardy // There is just something about him, especially all the photos you can find online of him cuddling dogs. Even when he is playing a terrible villain, or has a crazy look for a movie, I'm into it.
12. Chris Pine // Mr. Pine is almost TOO handsome. Of course I was introduced to him with Star Trek, but I'll give anything he is in a chance. I have seen a few terrible movies just to get a glimpse of those baby blues. He was the best part in Into the Woods, and I'm looking forward to that movie coming out soon where he plays a ship captain? Or something? All I know is he has a cute period haircut. I can't wait for Trek this summer, and the inevitable press tour. He and Zachary Quinto being interviewed together are PERFECT.
There you have it! Do I have a type? Funny guys, glasses, sideburns, cute suits...I'm into all of that.
Did you have any weird crushes when you were a kid? Do you have any now? Did you read this whole post? Are you obsessed with Jemaine's pillowy lips too? I need to know!