Monday, June 27, 2016

In Memoriam: My Phyllis

My tiny perfect Phyllis left this Earth on Saturday. It was sudden and I am completely heart broken. I wish I had eloquent words to represent what I am feeling, but I do not. It is like I keep forgetting, then it hits me again like a ton of bricks. She is gone. I am missing her.
Phyllis was a light in the darkness for me when we lost our pug Rose in a very violent way. She has been my constant companion for the past 5 and a half years. She had health problems this past year, but I would never have guessed she would be gone this soon. Too soon. It is always too soon.
I started to go through all of my photos then realized I have hundreds of her. Hundreds of happy memories that I am going to cling to, so I can hopefully forget the last, sad morning.
Here is just a small selection of some of my favorites.
The first photo I took of her. She didn't know yet that she was safe and loved. 
With her sister, Priscilla. 
I have been keeping Priscilla close. She is stressed without her friend.
I can't believe it. I am having a hard time right now, afraid to sleep because I am afraid I'll wake up and Priscilla will be gone. I know that it will get better, but now I am grieving for this little soul. This is our last photo together. I held her from the moment we found her until we left her at the vet. My sweet Phyllis. You are so so missed and so so loved. 
"My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend has stopped running today."

33 comments:

  1. I am so sorry, Rae! Sending you all my love! <3333

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  2. I was so saddened to hear of the loss of your Phyllis. She was such a special beautiful little soul. I remember getting to know her through your blog when I first started Wilma's blog. While I have not posted in some time, I am grateful for the pug friends Wilma brought me and for maintaining the connection through Facebook. We are thinking of you with love and kindness today.

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  3. Phyllis was a truly special dog and I could always see that you had a very special bond. I know from experience how painful this is, having lost Norbert and then Tubby just a few days apart. With Tubby as with Phyllis it was very sudden, he was old but didnt seem sick. So I also know you will get through this

    retro rover

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    1. Thanks so much Kate. It is always sad, but I think it feels worse when it is so sudden, and you don't have a chance to say goodbye.

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  4. I commented over at Instagram, but I wanted to again express my deepest condolences in the loss of your sweet friend. I have just recently started following your blog, but I went back to read all the old entries, and I've always enjoyed posts with the little ladies the most. In fact, your love of pugs and your two cuties inspired us to get our new black pug pup, Mearl-Purvis Ponder ("Mearl"). It is so difficult to lose a family member. I have been there with my cats, and it never gets easier.

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    1. Thank you Sarah. I've totally done that with blogs I love, and I'm flattered you liked mine enough to go all the way back.
      Also, Mearl is SO CUTE. her little white paw! Pug puppies are so adorable.

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  5. Oh no ... I am so sorry! She knew she was loved!

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  6. I'm so sorry, Rae! {{Hugs}}

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  7. I am so sorry to hear this! You and Travis are in my heart at this difficult time... You gave Phyllis much and she returned that and more. Appreciate, appreciate all who are left and love you!

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  8. Oh no sweet little Phyllis. We will miss her! <3

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  9. So very sad and sorry for your loss
    ...

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  10. I know your hearts are shattered. Your right,, there are no words to describe the emptyness that you are feeling.
    How we loved Phyllis also. There was something so special about her coming into your lives,, and how the love grew,,, and the bond grew.
    You loved her unconditionally,. We could feel it in your words when you talked about the pugs.
    She knew how much you loved her,,, and you gave her the best home ever. You did everything you could to keep her happy and healthy.
    She brought you joy, and smiles... she brought you a different kind of love.
    We are sad with you,,,, We know your hurting.
    That special kind of love that you had for Phyllis will live forever in your heart. She would want you to know that.
    We sit beside you right now,,, in a circle... holding onto each others paws and hands,
    Tonight I will light a candle for Phyllis,, and I will look for her star in the sky.,
    I know its there.
    Thank you for sharing your sweet little girl with all of us.. Our lives have been forever changed,, just in know the story of Phyllis.
    love
    tweedles

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    1. Thank you Tweedles. I knew you and your moms would be so sad to hear about Phyllis. Thank you for your kind words. She was so special to me, and I miss her all the time.

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  11. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious Phyllis. Our animal companions are just like family and when they are no longer with us the loss sometimes is greater than even a human family member might be. I feel and know your pain. Two of my three Siberian Huskies died just last year and my heart continues to ache for their companionship. These furry family members give us so much more than we give to them...without saying a word. BTW...my mom's name was Phyllis so your blog caught my attention today. Diane

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    1. Thank you Diane, I'm so sorry to hear about your huskies. How sad to lose two in a single year.

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  12. I am so saddened to hear of your loss, she was such a beautiful girl and seemed like such a special baby

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  13. Holding all of you, smished right next to my heart <3

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  14. I am so sorry, Rae. Thank you for sharing that sweet face with us via your blog through the years, what a blessed little soul to spend that time with such a loving family.

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  15. So sorry for your loss! I am a regular reader that does not really comment but my heart is really aching for you and Travis over the loss of your sweet pup. She seemed like such a beautiful and special little doggie! Thank you for sharing her with all of us on your blog. Take care XOXO

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  16. Aww, I'm so sorry for your loss. I love seeing the pictures of her little old lady face. Y'all took such good care of her.

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  17. Words cannot express my sorrow. My thoughts are with you as you learn to live without your shadow.

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  18. I teared up reading this...I'm sure she knew how loved she was. You guys did the best for her and she brought so much to your life. So much love to you as you go through this hard time. <3

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  19. It doesn't matter how long they are with us, it's never long enough. For such little dogs, they leave enormous holes in our hearts when they go. No matter what, she knew she was loved. That's all that matters. She knew she was loved at the end. The rest of it is human stuff. Yes, that's important to us. We're the ones grieving, but for her, what mattered was that she was safe, she was fed and she was loved enough to slip away.
    I wish you peace and comfort. Words don't do it, but time will eventually heal your heart. She would want you to share your love, only when you are ready, with another dog that needs you.

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  20. Oh, I am so sorry. I have never commented before, but I absolutely love following Pricilla and Phyllis. I lost my Max after 18 years. Your little family is precious. So glad Millie found you.

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Thanks so much for taking the time to leave me a comment!

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